But those are topics for another time. Today I wanted to talk about "The Family Bed." Basically it is when a family shares a bed. It is also referred to a bed sharing, cosleeping and I'm sure it has had a plethora of other names throughout time.
Flash back to Kiel and I's first year of marriage; so many nights we would lay in our king sized bed. Basically still kids at 21 and 22, we used to snuggle in a bed that was way too big for us and picture a time that would come when our bed would be full of us snuggling with sleeping babies.
Then came Loki:
Granted, Loki didn't really sleep in our bed after he weaned off the breast and we got him in his crib. He just wouldn't fall asleep next to us. But when we moved him to a toddler bed, he started to wander into our bed a few nights a week and when Kiel deployed, he spent almost every night Kiel was gone in bed with me. And I was fine with that. Lots of changes going on for him and it was comforting to be asleep next to his Momma.
Once Halo arrived, he slept in our bed less. But then we had a little lady who was nursing every 2 hours and I was exhausted. After nodding off while I was sitting up and feeding her, I realized it was easier on me and safer for her if she just laid next to me and nursed so I could get some more sleep.
She would sleep longer next to me. At first I didn't sleep well (always scared I would roll over on top of her) but eventually that passed and I would actually get some decent sleep. Kiel says when Halo and I are asleep, he sees her reach for me. He has even heard us "talk" (basically make noises back and forth to each other) while we are asleep.
Then Loki started to climb back in bed with us. Initially we were so scared about the possible consequences as it is said that while mothers are able to sleep next to their babies and still be aware of their positioning, siblings are not. And Loki is a wanderer. Somehow when he would sleep with us, both Kiel and I would end up with slivers of the bed to sleep on and Loki would be spread out, as comfy as can be. Most of the time, it works out just fine. I'm pretty sure that is because Kiel becomes super aware of Loki's positioning and just snuggles him over to his side of the bed.
So for almost a year (Halo turns 1 next month), we have had this sweet little girl in bed with us for just about every single night. She won't sleep anywhere else. We had a short time where I could get her to sleep in her crib for a few hours but now as soon as we start to lay her down, her eyes snap open and she grabs our shirt with her "kung-fu grip." Every now and then Loki will climb into bed with us. And yes, Kiel and I tend to wake up on a slivers on our bed and sometimes with really bad back aches. Making love in our bed really isn't an option when you have a baby in it (although that hasn't stopped us from exploring other areas of the house- *hint for other bedsharing families) and sometimes I just crave to have my bed belong to just my husband and I and not my entire freaking family ("This is not your bed/room!" is a common phrase for me to say to my kids).
But then you have those moments where you wake up and look at the sleeping people next to you and you realize- your whole world, your heart is laying next to you. The people you love more than anyone or anything else love you so much that they feel better, safer sleeping in your bed with you. And one day Loki will be a man and Halo will be a woman and they will no longer want to sleep next to me. They will want to fall asleep next to their friends, lovers, spouses and children. This is a very special time when they love their Momma and Daddy as much as we love them. Kiel and I will never be more loved than we are right now. So I will continue to share my bed with my children as long as they wish to snuggle in bed with me. It doesn't mean that I'm going to stop trying to get Halo to sleep in her bed every now and then, or not put Loki to sleep in his room every night. It means that I won't feel defeated when I try to lower Halo into her bed and her eyes open and she grabs me. Nor will I send Loki away when he comes into my room in the middle of the night asking to sleep with me. I'm going to ride the snuggle train until the wheels fall off that bitch!
