SPECIAL EDITION- ASK A GAYBIE!

So today and tomorrow, the Supreme Court will be hearing arguments regarding gay marriage. Normally, I'm pretty thick skinned when it comes to politics, but gay marriage is something that I get a little more sensitive about. For me, gay marriage isn't about being "politically correct" or even about the growing public support for gay marriage both nationally and globally- it's about my family. 

(From Urban Dictionary:)GAYBIE: When two men or two women have a baby. Now one of the most repeated arguments from today was about how little "studies" there are regarding the children of gays- funny...because no one conducting a study every asked me or my sister for that matter. Of course I do get the occasional question and here are some fully authentic gaybie answers to some of the questions I hear the most:

1) If  your mom is gay- then why do you have a dad?            Well kids, not everyone sashays out the closet the moment they can walk and talk- my mom didn't come out until she met someone that made her realize she was in the closet. That happened after she had two girls and two marriages. My mom and my dad get along really well, my dad and step mom were even at my Moms' wedding in December. Not all gaybies have a dad or a mom in their lives- I do. 

2) Did your moms make you gay?           I am bisexual (which perhaps could be the argument for genetics- I'm half of my mom, my mom is a lesbian, 1/2 lesbian makes a bisexual? Could be.), but in my life's journey, I happened to meet my soul mate- and he's a man. We got married and started our own family. My moms never pushed for me to be gay, straight or any other orientation. Instead they pushed for....good grades, doing the dishes, finishing college, not getting so many speeding tickets and making it home by curfew. If it sounds like pretty boring, average stuff...maybe that's because it was.

3) What is it like?!          I have no idea how to answer this. Good, I guess? I don't have anything to really compare it to. I'm happy with my life. I'm very close to my moms, my dad and my step mom and my son is super close to them, too. Every now and then I would have to deal with some ignorant ass that would want to push my buttons and tell me how it's "against God's plan," or how "they are no better than pedophiles," (yeah, I've actually had someone tell me that) or that I would turn out messed up or wrong. Well my life isn't as exaggerated as the movie "The Birdcage." But it's not that different from my friends, either. And yes, it hurts me when people say mean things like that about my family, mainly because I spent 8 years in Christian school and know that these people are nit picking the Bible to single out a group of people because they are different and their differences are out in the open as opposed to behind closed doors. And to be even more blunt- all the hate and negativity from those Bible thumpers has actually made me severely question Christianity to the point where I can't even fully identify as a Christian anymore. My faith in Christianity used to be so strong, but engaging in fellowship with people who are so negative really pushed me away. My favorite Bible verse is 1 John 4:8:

"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."

My family knows love. I have never questioned my parents' love for me. EVER. We are a very close family. Someone that would try and turn the love my family shares into something wrong or bad and try to use God to justify it is doing our Creator and horrible mis-service. Not many kids grow up with parents they can tell (almost) everything to and as adults chat with them multiple times during the week, just because. Not many kids grow up knowing that their parents love them unconditionally, to the point where ALL of my parents flew across the country to take care of me during the birth of my son. Now, my family wasn't all peaches and cream. Our periods did sync up so one week out of the month was especially awful. We would fight, doors would slam, tears would be shed. Most of high school/ college, I wasn't really home much anyway (school, firefighting, boys, girls, whatever). But I NEVER questioned if my parents loved me or if they would be there for me. I didn't have to, I knew it then and I know it now. 

4) Am I normal?     Normal is a pretty dangerous term. I don't like it. I will say that I am happy. I have wonderful parents, and a family of my own. I have yet to have a dream I haven't at least attempted to accomplish (some have failed, but failure can be humbling at times).  I'm not a negative person and like to believe the best about everyone. I think those are good traits to have. I think I get those traits from my family. 

I guess my thoughts are pretty close to what Justice Kennedy said today about how kids of gays (gaybies) want their parents to be recognized. We DO need that. We need to know that our families are recognized in our country and that families like ours are being taken into consideration just as much as families with one parent or families with two hetero parents. Yes our country is facing a lot of issue right now- but NOTHING is more important that ensuring that our own citizens are being granted the freedom and equality that is guaranteed to all of us in our Constitution.